


under starless skies we are lost

by WishingTree



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Gen, mentions amy's death but since she's already dead in the show this is the tag, spoilers up to episode 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-06 03:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12808758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingTree/pseuds/WishingTree
Summary: Karolina has known Nico for as long as she can remember. They were young when they met, and Karolina used to believe that her life was normal, that her parents were perfect, that their group of friends would be inseparable, that she’d always have Nico.Of course, she winds up being wrong on all counts except one.





	under starless skies we are lost

**Author's Note:**

> Started out as a mini runaways through the years piece? Don’t know what it ended up as but yes here you go.
> 
> I also just realised that I forgot about Karolina walking in on Alex and Nico kissing, so let's just pretend that never happened.
> 
> Warning for mention of Amy's death.
> 
> Title from 'Ship To Wreck' by Florence + the Machine;

Karolina doesn't remember it, but the first time they meet is on a Saturday.

They’re both young, barely old enough to be allowed to wait for their parents without supervision, but their parents deposit them in the games room and tell them to behave. It's a stormy night, and Karolina is the last one to arrive, blonde hair disheveled from the wind. All of the Pride kids are left together as their parents disappear into another room, and it’s easy for Karolina to start playing games with the others. Eventually they settle on Twister, quickly setting it up and electing Molly to be in charge of the spinner first, even though she’s the youngest and complains until the game is well under way. 

They’re too small to reach very far, and each game dissolves into a pile of giggling. It's fun, and Karolina marvels at the feeling of having friends for the first time, even if they were chosen for her.

Gert is smart and knows the names of all the dinosaurs, but she can get loud and likes to glare at people. Chase smells, and Alex is too serious. He likes to talk about video games and comic books, and though Karolina tries to follow along, she just doesn’t understand. Little Molly is enthusiastic and bright, and Amy is older than all of them, the girl who gives out the most wonderful hugs. Unlike her sister, Nico is small, and quiet, and Karolina really, _really_ , wants to be her friend. 

“Right hand green!”

Karolina blinks and turns her head to see Nico’s face screwed up in concentration, and then she stretches her arm out under Amy and Gert, settling with her hand on the circle next to Karolina’s.

“Alex, left foot blue!” 

It goes on like this, and at some point Nico’s hand shifts so her pinkie is brushing Karolina’s.

Together, they’re a bright mess of people, and Karolina is happy.

 

They only get to see each other once a year, until one rainy Wednesday in the middle of October when Karolina gets a phone call. It's Amy, sounding so excited, and when Karolina's mom hands her the phone she invites her over to watch a movie with the whole gang. Karolina agrees quickly, bouncing happily as she hangs up and looking up at her mom, and her mom gives her a gentle smile.

“Why don’t you go get changed,” she says, smoothing down Karolina's hair, “I’ll drive you over to see your friends.”

Karolina nods eagerly and scampers off, only tripping once on the stairs, and her Gibborim bracelet slides up her arm as she holds the banister on the way up. It’s been months since the last Pride meeting, and she’s more than ready to see her friends again.

An hour later, they’re standing in front of the Minoru house, Karolina’s hand clutched in her mother’s. It’s Nico and Amy’s mom that answers the door, Nico peeking out from behind her, and Karolina beams when she sees her.

“Leslie,” Nico’s mom greets formally.

“Tina,” Karolina’s mom replies, equally stilted, and Karolina tilts back her head to watch them. She will never understand why their parents all act like this with each other. She thinks they’re friends, but it doesn’t seem like they ever have much fun.

“Thank you for having the children over,” Karolina’s mom says pleasantly, placing her hand on Karolina’s head. “My daughter really appreciates it, she’s been missing the others.”

“It’s the same with my girls,” Tina says, voice almost fond, and Karolina startles when she feels something poke her in the side. 

It’s Nico, having stepped out from behind her mom, and she puts up a hand to cover her mouth. “Do you want to wait for them to finish?” she whispers.

“No,” Karolina answers in a hushed voice, looking once over her shoulder. Their mothers are talking quietly about something, and Karolina’s mom has her serious face on. “How about you?”

Nico only shrugs. “Whatever.” She slips her hand into Karolina’s and pulls her along into the house to where the others are waiting, and Karolina feels like flying.

 

“I could be!” Molly protests loudly in Karolina’s backyard as the sun beats down on them during a hot summer day, hands on her hips as she scowls up at Chase, “I might be the littlest right now, but I bet that I’ll be stronger than you soon!” 

Chase crosses his arms over his chest and grins down at her. They've just gotten back from watching Amy's tennis tournament, and he has the beginnings of a sunburn lining his cheeks. “Is that right, Molly Dolly?” 

Molly huffs and shoves at him, and they all watch as the smirk on Chase’s face morphs into surprise when he realizes he’s teetering on the edge of the pool. He falls in with a splash, and they all burst into laughter.

Chase pops up and shakes his hair out, wide grin on his face. “Alright, come here you,” he pushes himself out of the pool and scoops up a squealing Molly, making sure his grip on her is secure before he jumps into the pool again. Amy and Gert dive in after them, and Karolina is still laughing when she feels a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

“Nico?” 

Nico smirks and doesn’t say anything, only raises her eyebrows at her before tightening her grip and throwing them both into the pool to join the others.

Karolina splutters as she resurfaces, pushing her hair out of her face and laughing, and she smiles when Nico pops up next to her.

“Look,” Nico murmurs happily as she blinks water out of her eyes, moving her arms through the water, “A rainbow.” 

Karolina looks down to see the light reflecting off the water around her, creating a shimmering rainbow. Molly comes barreling towards her a moment later, disrupting the water, and Karolina grins and wraps her arms around her so she can dunk them both under the water.

It’s the kind of day Karolina will remember.

 

They’re fourteen now, and about to start high school. Karolina’s parents are away at some Gibborim thing, leaving Karolina with the Minorus, and she isn’t even upset that they’re going to miss her first day of school because of how much she likes spending time with Nico.

Clad in pyjamas, Karolina clambers into bed, sitting crosslegged and pulling the blanket over her lap. Nico is brushing her teeth in the adjoining bathroom, and Karolina looks around happily, now totally at ease in Nico’s room. It’s dark out, and she waits for Nico to get out of the bathroom and into bed before she climbs under the covers. Nico’s blankets are soft and her bed is warm, and for some reason Karolina likes it so much better than her own.

“Goodnight, K,” Nico murmurs, eyes already closed, and Karolina turns onto her side, curling towards her.

“Night Nico,” she whispers back, and she falls asleep with Nico at her side.

 

Karolina wakes up thirsty in the middle of the night, and makes the decision to sneak out of bed down to the kitchen. The sight of Nico peacefully sleeping gives her pause, but eventually she tears her gaze away and slips out from under the blankets, flinching when her feet meet the cold floor. 

She makes her way to the kitchen and finds Amy leaning against the counter with her head bowed, back facing the doorway Karolina is standing in. It looks like she’s shaking. 

“Amy?” Karolina says quietly, brow furrowed in concern, and Amy immediately squares her shoulders, wiping at her face with a hurried motion before she turns to her with a wide smile.

“Karolina, hey,” she says, too bright to be anything but fake. Already, Karolina knows all about presenting an image. “I hope I didn’t wake you up?” 

“No,” Karolina shakes her head, “I just came to get something to drink.” She points awkwardly at the fridge and steps towards it.

Amy sniffs once and passes her hand over her face before giving Karolina another kind smile. “Do you want some hot chocolate instead?” she asks, tilting her own mug towards Karolina and leaning closer to whisper conspiratorially. “I know where my parents keep the good stuff.”

Karolina perks up at the words, nodding eagerly, and Amy huffs a laugh. Amy is two years older, but Karolina is almost taller than her so she reaches up to get the mugs while Amy gets a jar full of hot chocolate powder out from under the counter.

“Should we make one for Nico too?” Karolina asks, staring at the cups in the cabinet before turning to look at Amy over her shoulder. Nico should still be asleep, but she loves chocolate.

Amy smiles softly, ducking her head down again, but she reopens the jar a gestures for Karolina to give her another one. “Grab me an extra mug.” 

They chat quietly until the drinks are done, and then Amy straightens again.

“Alright, you should probably go back to bed,” she says with something bordering on fondness in her voice, patting Karolina on the back as she watches her balance the mugs carefully. 

“Night, Amy,” Karolina nods, “Are you going to bed soon? We do have school tomorrow.” 

“I know, I’m just gonna finish this up,” she holds up her mug, “I don’t know if I’ll see you at school though.” 

Karolina shrugs. “At least we have movie night next week!” 

“Yeah,” Amy says, a mischievous smile on her face as she ruffles Karolina’s hair before pushing her gently towards the door, “Yeah, I guess I’ll see you next week.”

 

Next week comes, and Karolina gets a call from a crying Nico. There is no movie night.

 

 

Amy’s death _hurts_.

 

 

They gather together at the funeral. Chase keeps his jaw clenched the entire time, and Gert watches the proceedings with watery eyes. Molly is quiet and so still, and Nico doesn’t do much at all.

Alex isn't there.

Karolina plays with the hem of her blouse as she waits against the wall for Nico after the service. Molly comes over to her, one hand clutching Gert’s, and she slips her free hand into Karolina’s. Gert only gives her a tight smile over Molly’s head before looking away, and Karolina leans over to squeeze her arm once before withdrawing.

“Hey, Molls,” she says quietly, giving the younger girl her best smile. Molly doesn’t say anything, but she presses into her side, burying her face in the material of her shirt.

Nico breaks off from her parents and shuffles over, head bowed, and none of them really know what they’re supposed to do. Karolina reaches over to curl her fingers around Nico’s, but Nico doesn’t look up, only shaking her head once and ripping her hand away. Karolina doesn’t take offence; everybody grieves in their own way.

 

Things are never the same after that.

 

They grow apart, and Karolina learns how to get by alone. How to hide behind the mask of perfect daughter. She learns how to get _mean_ , mean enough that she can survive through high school without her friends, mean enough that she can cut down anyone who tries to cut her down. It leaves a terrible taste in her mouth and for the most part she chooses to keep her smile on instead, and she hates herself.

She starts to go to her mother’s church services, deciding it’s time for her to embrace her family’s teachings of light and love. Her mother beams with pride, and Karolina really tries to give herself over to it.

She learns how to fall asleep without texting Nico, how to stop looking for Chase’s head in the crowd of students or listening for Alex’s laugh. She learns not to find Gert and share a look when somebody says something annoying, and she learns not to save stickers for Molly. She learns all of it.

But she misses them.

 

She tells herself it doesn’t matter when she’s looking over her old pictures, running her fingers over Nico’s smiling face. 

 

It doesn’t matter. 

 

 

Two years pass.

 

 

Molly is taller now, and goes to their school. Gert’s hair is purple, and Chase is tight with his lacrosse team, the bullies they had always made a point to avoid. Alex has all but disappeared into the background, and Nico is sporting a whole new look, dark to go with the scowl that seems almost permanent on her face.

Karolina doesn’t spend her time missing them.

She doesn’t.

 

On the anniversary of Amy's death, Karolina winds up crying by herself in the bathroom, and it’s Nico of all people who walks in. Something is clearly bothering her, but Karolina knows it’s not her place to pry anymore.

Still, the words are out before she can stop them.

“Is everything okay?”

Their small talk is awkward, and as much as she wants to, Karolina doesn’t know how to fix it. She sniffs and wipes the remains of her tears away, doing her best to smile again, and she gets absorbed with looking at Nico, feelings bubbling up inside of her that she can’t even begin to understand. Karolina would give anything for things to go back to the way they were. Nico is standing right in front of her, and all she can think to say is a lame crack about allergies and pollen.

“If you want a tutorial, check YouTube,” Nico says dismissively, her eyes flitting over Karolina for the briefest moment before she returns to her eyeliner, and Karolina realizes she’s been watching her for too long.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” Karolina ducks her head and takes an involuntary step forward. “…It’s just that you know that you don't need all that, Nico. You don’t have to hide who you really are.” Karolina tries, hoping to see some trace of the Nico she used to know, and she forgets how perceptive Nico is. Her jab about hiding behind a smile cuts, but Karolina takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes, setting her shoulders. It’s nothing she didn’t already know.

 

Through a series of inevitable events, they all wind up in Alex’s guesthouse at the end of the day, just like before. There’s a tension in the air, thick with awkwardness, and Karolina wants to make it go away.

“We were friends because our parents were friends. We were always going to grow apart,” Karolina says the words she’s been telling herself for the last two years. 

They end up insulting each other before coming to a tentative truce, and Karolina means everything she says to them.

And then they find a secret passageway in Mr. Wilder’s study, and everything changes once again.

 

After they rescue Alex from his kidnappers, after they all come together and find out about their abilities and fail to save Andre, Karolina offers to drive Nico home. She can feel anger and despair welling up inside of her, and she knows that being around other people will keep it at bay for now. Nobody makes her feel better than Nico, so she grasps at the small extra bit of time giving her a lift provides.

“Thanks for tonight, by the way,” Nico breaks the silence in the car, “For having my back and everything.”

“Of course,” Karolina glances at her out of the corner of her eye before turning back to the road. “Always.” 

They fall into a comfortable silence again, and Karolina keeps her focus on driving, now at a much more manageable speed than during their car chase.

“How does – how do they work?” Nico asks just as Karolina pulls up to Nico’s driveway, referring to Karolina’s newly revealed powers.

“It’s my bracelet,” Karolina tells her as she puts the car in park, holding up her hand and rotating her wrist to display the Gibborim bracelet. “Best I can tell is that it’s some kind of inhibitor. I can’t seem to turn the lights off without it.” 

Nico examines it, expression curious, and Karolina does her best to stop her hand from shaking.

“Do you… want to see them?” Karolina asks hesitantly, “The lights?” 

Nico sits back, a surprised expression on her face before she nods eagerly. “Yeah, would you – is that cool?” 

“Sure,” Karolina shrugs and turns off the car, trying to act nonchalant, “Maybe not out here though? It tends to get bright, and well,” she gestures at the darkness of the night around them.

“Right,” Nico nods as she gets out of the car, shouldering her bag, “Come inside.” 

As soon as they step into the house Nico tilts her head towards the ceiling. “Wizey, pause recording,” Nico calls out, waiting for Wizey’s electronic voice to recite a confirmation before turning back to Karolina. “Okay, Wizey will wipe the last couple minutes, my parents will never know you were here.” 

Karolina nods, absentmindedly scratching at her wrist, and Nico’s eyes are drawn down again.

“Can I…?” She looks up and gestures towards the bracelet, and Karolina stretches her arm out towards her with her palm up, anticipation causing her stomach to flip.

Nico reaches out tentatively, face unsure but a glimmer of excitement shining in her eyes, and Karolina inhales shakily, shifting minutely on her feet. She already feels warm all over, not unlike the warmth she feels when she’s lit up, and she can hear her pulse in her ears.

After one last moment of hesitation, Nico gently takes Karolina’s left hand in both of hers, thumb stroking over Karolina’s knuckles, and Karolina thinks she forgets how to breathe. Nico then moves one of her hands to the bracelet and uses the other to take Karolina’s hand, holding it tightly as she turns the bracelet around. She pauses with her fingers on the clasp and looks up and meet Karolina’s eyes.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” Karolina says quietly, breath hitching in the middle of the word. Nico looks down again, and Karolina sees her take a breath before she quickly snaps the bracelet open and pulls it away from Karolina’s skin. Hyperaware of the hand still holding hers, Karolina feels the now-familiar wave of warmth pass over her and inhales when Nico lifts her gaze to meet hers.

The moment hangs between them, and then, still looking into Nico’s eyes, all Karolina knows is light.

 


End file.
